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Fashion Love ♥

6/24/14 10:54 pm - Long time no see

Wow it has been a while since I posted something on this blog. I have never been absent from blogging for such a long time. It's quiet sad, isn't it? Especially because I'm in Japan since August last year and my life became really exciting during the past 10/11 months. I realized what I really want in life and what I want to fight for in the future. I travelled a lot (not only in Japan) and discovered new places that I like. In Japan's case I have to admit that I was disappointed at first sight. I felt like it wasn't the right thing to come here. I expected something else. I was so stupid, lol. A small European girl who watched too many Animes, saw too many pictures of Tokyo. It felt so unreal when I arrived in Japan. I was happy and sad at the same time. Nevertheless, now I can say that I fell again in love with Japan. And I'm also proud to say that I can also like my home country Germany much more. Yeah, I was kinda stupid. I thought everything would be better in Japan but it's totally not. I love the good sides of both countries, Germany and Japan. Both countries are so different but not in a bad way. For me, I have to admit that Germany might be the better place to stay. I'm kinda direct, I cannot hide my feelings so easily and I'm a man, lol. Yeah a man who likes to work and tell others what and how they have to do things. I feel like a dictator when I have to work in a group with Japanese students. Haha, but Japanese students are very kind and sweet and campus life is really cool. In Japan, they have a lot of circles you can join. I went to kickboxing for example (you see? I'm a man lol). It was cool.
I don't wanna go back to Germany. It's not that I don't miss it, it's just the case that I find my live boring in Germany. Even if I'm several months in Japan now, I always discover new things which I can learn from. It's hard sometimes but I was never used to go the easy way anyway. I want to stay here for a couple of more years. I want to study here again or find a traineeship. I want to become fluent in the language I love so much. I know I will never become Japanese (I also don't want to) but I want to try to understand the people as much as I can. I want to learn from them either. My mum is a bit sad about that. She is from Indonesia and actually she says she likes Japan. It's a safe country, people are known for being very polite and Japan is very sophisticated among other Asian countries. However, she says that it will be difficult for me to be fully integrated into the Japanese society, especially in business. She is right, unfortunately. I'm young, a woman and foreign. Even if people think on the street that I'm Haafu (half Japanese) they will always know that I'm foreign when they start talking to me. I don't care. It's not like people in Germany think I'm German. It's the other way round lol. They see me the first time, say I'm foreign and than they realize, after chatting with me, that I must be German. I can live with that.
So for living... hmm let me think. I like Osaka... I love Kansai in general. I'm kinda disappointed of Tokyo. I live in Sapporo right now and it's nice too. But Tokyo... hmm dunno why... I'm not so into this city. However I will visit Tokyo again before I leave Japan.
I will travel like this: Sapporo, Osaka, Fukuoka, Tokyo, Sapporo. 3 days more in Sapporo and then I have to go back to Germany. I know I will cry man. Like a child. Probably not when I'm at the airport. Nope, at the airport I will think of having a nice big Kebab, a Marzipan cake, nice hot Currywurst, my mom's Indonesian cuisine, my PlayStation 3 (no wait, I sold it before I came to Japan), my apartment in Berlin and so on. Mostly I miss food to be honest. Not the people. It will be cool to sit in the bus or train and to understand what everyone is saying but actually... I don't wanna know what people are talking about... if they are complaining or gossiping and talking behind my back. Nope, I don't wanna hear that.
Gosh this post is already too long, what just happened? Ok I really need a place where I can talk about my feelings. I also like to post photos. I'm also into fashion. I wanna talk about random stuff and so on.
I won't use this blog, I want a deadjournal account but I need a code for that. Deadjournal fits my personality. Especially now, since I have to deal with lack of sleep. It's nothing serious. It's just that I have to wake up at 4am for almost every important soccer match. Fifa you kill me... stupid damn time zones. If it won't be deadjournal, I might go to fc2. Let's see what's going to happen.

Here's a picture of me:

circle lenses, fake lashes, a loooot make up and a wig... 100% fake and 100% photoshopped. It's the way it is. See you

6/27/08 06:36 pm

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